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When to Stop Pushing

Leaning in to resistance is one thing, smashing your head against a wall is another.

My last blog post was all about pushing boundaries and challenging ourselves to grow. And it's become very obvious to me that it'd be entirely possible to take that little nugget of truth a bit too far. There's a huge difference between resistance and an immovable force. Resistance should feel challenging, but rewarding. If you've been struggling to get through something and it feels awful and hard and draining, then it's likely not the right path.

My mission in launching Lamplighter is to help you learn how to feel your Spark, how to know what is good for you so you can keep chasing it. By contrast, if you're doing something that feels uncomfortable, awkward, or fills you with a sense of dread then it's time to let it go.

To help you identify your Spark, think back to a time when you were very sure about a decision you'd made. Maybe it was what University to attend, or which program to take; maybe it was when you met your partner; maybe it was the decision to have kids, or buy the house, or take that trip. Whatever it was, bring yourself back to the time when you faced the decision, when you knew it was the thing to do —when you just had to do it. Where did you feel that sensation in your body? What part of you lit up and felt excited?

That's your Spark. That's your confirmation that you should be pursuing something, even when it presents you with challenges. Even when things get hard, you'll still feel that Spark telling you to keep going, lean in, push through the resistance.

On the other hand, think about the last time you found yourself in a situation that just felt wrong. Where did you feel that? Did it feel like a weight, or perhaps it manifested as fear, or bitterness, or frustration? That's a sign that you're putting your efforts into the wrong thing. Your energy is being drained by the experience, rather than fed by it.

So the next time you can find a quiet moment, reflect on the various aspects of your life (body, home, family, friends, romance, work, etc.) and check in with your Spark. Are you still being lit up? Are you still excited and replenished by that part of your life? What parts cause you to feel those negative emotions? Hone in on exactly what the problem is and ask yourself if you can fix it —and if you can fix it, do you want to? You don't have to keep working at something if it is making you miserable. It's probably time to stop pushing. You'll be amazed at how quickly these things fade out of your life when you just let them go (it won't take much effort at all).

The secret to life is that if we continue to chase what lights us up, we cannot fail. When you are following your Spark, it will lead you to greater happiness. Even if your brain is scared of all the logistics, I promise you can trust your Spark. Take the first small step toward that feeling and teach your brain that this works. Soothe your ego by witnessing your success and your renewed energy.

Want to learn more about how you can follow your Spark and quiet your ego? Book an Insight Session with me and I'll see how I can help you take steps in the right direction!

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