Aside from Happiness being a highly subjective word, meaning something different to each of us, it’s also a feeling that seems so difficult to manifest.
There’s this mythology that most of us believe that says in order to feel happy, we must reach a pinnacle in our lives, and that once we get there nothing should ever go wrong or make us feel unhappy again.
That’s just plain wrong. If you think back to a time you’d define as happy, can you also remember some of the challenges you were facing then? And what makes you feel happy today, despite any difficulties you’re up against?
Happiness is not a destination. It’s a lifestyle.
I know that can sound cliché, so let’s dig in a bit more to expose the core of this idea.
Destination: Happy
I bet you plan on being happy some time in the future, right? You get up in the morning and you go about your day, putting in effort to just get you to the next steps toward your happiness. So what does that future look like? What exists in that future place that you do not have access to right now?
Chances are that when you really boil it down, the answer to that question is time. You’ll have more time to travel, more time to paint, more time to sleep, more free time. (And if you’re saying “No, Lindsay. I want more money!” Then I’d say to you time is money in our economy, and money is time.)
Most of us don’t envision a happy future that is filled with stuff. We envision a happy future as one that affords us freedom to do whatever we want. So why can’t we do whatever we want now?
Lifestyle Changes
If more time/ more freedom is what you’re seeking (rather than more stuff), then happiness doesn’t need to be some future place you are working to arrive at. You can start working on it today.
Here’s where to start creating a lifestyle of happiness:
Gratitude. Take time around bedtime rituals to think about all the things that are going well. Wake up and pick something to be excited about today. Before bed, make a list of all the good things you experienced, or consider what you accomplished.
Set boundaries! This might seem counterintuitive, but without telling others what is and is not acceptable will help set you free from finding yourself where you don’t want to be, or in uncomfortable situations.
Go with the flow. Don’t expect only good things to happen, but relish when they do. When stressful or bad things happen, remind yourself that it’s temporary and that good things have also happened.
Our minds are very good at remembering bad things. This is a built-in function to help us stay safe, stay alive —which is good, but can hold us back from savouring the good and finding happiness.
If you’re struggling with these starting points, or if you’d like to work with me on building a lifestyle of happiness, schedule an Insight Session with me and we can figure out how Soul Coaching might work for you.
Share a happy memory in the comments!